Down the hatch and bottoms up,
drown your fears in a glass or a cup.
Another trip to a packed out bar,
trying not to show how scared you are.
Schedules and lectures and a library card,
all making you feel like a bit of a retard.
New housemates, good and bad,
don’t let them see that you’re totally mad!
Got to have fun because you’re a fresher
and it’s just not cool to feel the pressure.
But don’t worry dear, it’s not that you’re wetter,
it’s just that the others are hiding it better.
The week is packed for good reason,
it’s the height of the social season.
It’s all designed with you in mind,
before lessons start and you fall behind.
But the truth is that ‘the best week of your life’
could really be full of trouble and strife.
It’ll be better next year when you’re older
and the burden of learning you’ve learnt how to shoulder.
But until then rejoice!
And sing at the top of your voice.
And try not get in too much of a sweat
After all, you’re there to learn – don’t forget!