Beards

I think I should really like to grow a beard.

Now, I know you think it would look weird

with my really quite gigantic tits

and all my various “lady” bits,

but I would wear it proudly with my dresses,

underneath my sculpted tresses.

I’m sick of this wispy little moustache crap

that society tells us to shave, bleach or wax,

I want really thick good whiskers

I can play with, with my fingers,

I want it to be big and bushy and red

to balance out my rather large head.

Yes, I think I really would be someone to be feared

if only I could grow a really good beard.