I think I should really like to grow a beard.
Now, I know you think it would look weird
with my really quite gigantic tits
and all my various “lady” bits,
but I would wear it proudly with my dresses,
underneath my sculpted tresses.
I’m sick of this wispy little moustache crap
that society tells us to shave, bleach or wax,
I want really thick good whiskers
I can play with, with my fingers,
I want it to be big and bushy and red
to balance out my rather large head.
Yes, I think I really would be someone to be feared
if only I could grow a really good beard.